April 2008 Archives

Decluttering is good feng shui. In the spring, I clean. I start the process with visions of an immaculate, nearly empty Zen-like home (Interestingly, the soon-to-be-clean house in my imagination also has all-new, sleek and modern furniture; a new set of nonshedding, nondrooling pets; and, for the first time in my adult life, sophisticated curtains not purchased at Ikea), but I end the process overwhelmed, half done, and hiding in the garden to avoid having to lug any more crap to the Dumpster. Then, last week, I read the old classic Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston (Broadway, 1999) in search for some last minute motivation — and boy did I find it. Kingston devotes a section of the book to calculating how much clutter can cost you financially (what’s a better motivator than the bottom line?). Herewith, from Kingston:

What does it actually cost you to keep the stuff? Sometimes when all other reasoning has failed, it is the simple financial mathematics that brings people to their senses about their clutter. Let’s do some sums. Go into each room of your home and estimate the percentage of space that is taken up by things you rarely or never use. Be very honest with yourself as you do this process. If you want the blatant truth, include everything you don’t absolutely love or haven’t used in the last year…In an average-sized home, you may end up with a list that looks something like this: 1. Entrance/foyer — 5 percent 2. Sitting room — 10 percent 3. Dining room — 10 percent 4. Kitchen — 30 percent 5. Bedroom 1 — 40 percent 6. Bedroom 2 — 25 percent 7. Junk room — 100 percent 8. Bathroom — 15 percent 9. Basement — 90 percent 10. Attic — 100 percent 11. Garden shed — 60 percent 12. Garage — 80 percent Total Clutter 565 percent Now divide the total by the number of areas. 565 percent divided by 12 areas = average 47 percent junk per room! So, in this example, the cost of storing clutter works out to a staggering 47 percent of the cost of the rent or mortgage for your home.

Needless to say, I have been in the basement emptying old college papers and grade-school art projects nonstop for a week.

Baking soda will bring world peace. The economy’s crummy. Money’s tight. Here are some healthy ways to spread your dollars: 1. Use Baking Soda for Everything. Seriously. — It wasn’t long ago that people used baking soda for everything around the house. And I mean everything. Then devilish marketers arrived on the scene and sold us on supposedly higher power, often highly toxic, and way more expensive substitutes. But baking soda has all the power you need — and best of all, it’s natural, nontoxic and cheap, cheap, cheap! Here are a small fraction of the many uses for baking soda:

Clean countertops, sinks, bathtubs, and crusty dishes — Baking soda is mildly abrasive and, with a bit of water, dissolves grease and dirt. Keep a cup filled with baking soda by the kitchen and bathroom sinks so it’s always handy. (Consider buying aluminum-free baking soda for the hot bath and for baking.) Clean yourself — Baking soda cleans hands and nails and softens cuticles. Again put a dish filled with baking soda near the sink and use as hand soap. Or dip a nail brush into the bowl and scrub away that post-gardening grit. Add a cup of baking soda to your next bath, too. It softens the skin and helps detoxify. Get Beautiful — Mix 3 parts baking soda with one part water and it becomes an exfoliating face scrub. Also use on elbows to remove rough skin. Wash the Dog — Sprinkle some on Fido, rub in with your hands, then brush well. He’ll have that new dog smell all over again. Remove Little Sally’s permanent marker art mural — mix baking soda with toothpaste and watch the magic. Check out this real life test run captured on video.

2. Discover Borax — A mineral compound, borax is a natural, nontoxic every powder (much like baking soda). It works as a water softener when added to the laundry; its great for hand-washing delicates; it’s safe for washing cloth diapers; it’s the best toilet bowl cleaner I’ve stumbled across; it keeps the garbage pail smelling fresh (add a couple tablespoosn to the bottom of the pail); and it makes a great carpet stain remover: blot up whatever’s spilled, sprinkle Borax over the remaining stain, let dry and then vacuum up. The stain — and smell — disappears. A big box of borax retails at Target for around $2.69, give or take a dime. 3. Try vinegar — Another nontoxic household cleaner, vinegar removes mold from grout and plastic shower curtains. Mix it with water to make glass cleaner and then use crumpled newspapers to wash the windows (though don’t use the newspaper on, say, the TV screen). Newspaper is the best cloth you’ll ever use on your windows — no streaks, perfect shine. I know it seems counterintuitive at first, but you will be blown away by the difference. I guarantee. 4. Buy in bulk — At most supermarkets these days, you can buy food such as beans, seeds, rice, oatmeal, flour, grains, pasta and much, much more in bulk. Buying in bulk saves money and packaging. With bulk, you can buy only as many almonds as the recipe calls for and/or as much quinoa as you want so when you want to whip some up for under a stir-fry, you always have some on hand. 5. Improvise — Craft the things you need on your own, MacGyver-style. I’ve been collecting past-dated socks, stuffing them with table scraps, tying them in knots and, voila! Insta-dog toy! Or take an old, needs-to-be-recycled t-shirt, cut it into strips, braid it, and you’ve got another couple hours of doggy entertainment at the low, low price of zero dollars (dog toys at the store can cost up to $20 or more). Dog toys aren’t the only things that can be improvised. Look around at what you have, assess what you need, and see what you can devise! 6. Shop for local food and wares — Products that travel less distance to reach you are less dependent on the skyrocketing price of gas. See the recent EL article on how to shop for all things local. 7. Wash your clothes on cold, and lay off your dryer — I feel like it’s my god-given right as an American to use my dryer. Ahem. But that’s just the magic that marketing has worked on my poor, susceptible brain. Not only is the dryer really harsh on all my clothes, it costs A LOT to run. You’ll save on electricity by using an old-fashioned drying rack or an outdoor clothesline. Running the washing machine on hot is also a huge energy gobbler. Wash on cold and you’ll notice the difference when you get your electricity bill.

Someone's nervous about what comes next.... I just finished reading The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease (which, for a personal development book, is a real page-turner — the suspense of wondering what certain body movements reveal will keep you reading way past your bedtime!). Here’s what I learned: our bodies always betray our real feelings. Say you’re going to tell a kindhearted lie to a friend who asks if “these pants make my butt look big?” Your lips will say “No! Not at all!” But your body language will say, “Yeah, kinda” if that’s how you really feel. Authors Allan and Barbara Pease say people often ask them if they can learn to fake it — learn to mask their feelings of anxiety at a job interview, or to hide their jitters on a first date, or to cover up their interest or disinterest in someone they meet at a party. The answer is: Nope. Never fully. Here’s why: we’re animals. Our highly-developed brains know that we should strive to appear calm when, say, work meetings turn tense. Yet our bodies still respond on a primal level, giving off microsignals that say we’re frightened or feeling superior or are desperate to flee. And that’s how we get caught: People perceive we aren’t being fully truthful when our words and our bodies’ microsignals don’t match up. Our brains can spot the incongruence — and it’s that mismatch that gives rise to the visceral feeling that something just isn't right. Even people who practice can’t stifle all the microsignals — they still appear, however small, giving us the opportunity to discern someone’s deeper feelings if we’re paying attention. Yet most movements don’t require that much concentration on our part because most people let their bodies chatter away uncensored. The Peases write:

“Like any other species, we are still dominated by biological rules that control our actions, reactions, body language, and gestures. The fascinating thing is that the human animal is rarely aware that its postures, movements, and gestures can tell one story while its voice may be telling another.”

The good news here is that if you take some time to study up on body language, your own and others, you’ll be better able to perceive what others are really saying — and better aware of the signals you’re sending. The book is full of fascinating facts, figures and data, and I recommend it for anyone interested in becoming fluent in body language. Meanwhile, here’s a short guide, culled from the book, of some common body signals and what they mean. 1. Crossed Arms — Crossed arms show that a person doesn’t agree or isn’t interested in what’s being said and/or has a nervous, defensive or negative attitude. Crossed arms are a pretty obvious posture to decipher; the more interesting bit of news here, I think, is how the posturing also works in reverse. When you adopt a body position, such as crossing your arms, your mind tends to follow, which means that even if you weren’t feeling disinterested or defensive, if you cross your arms you’re likely to start feeling that way. Research conducted by the Peases found that students at a lecture who were instructed to listen to the lecturer with their arms crossed not only retained 38 percent less of the information being presented but also had more negative thoughts about the lecturer! The takeaway? If you want to be more receptive, uncross those arms! And if you find someone crossing their arms as you talk (likely indicating that they are closed off to what you’re saying), try getting them to uncross them. The Peases suggest offering the person a cup of coffee or handing them a piece of paper to get them to reach out of the crossed-arm position. If you can break them out of their posture, their mind is more likely to follow — and you’ve just helped them help themselves like you better! 2. The Coffee Cup Barrier — Speaking of coffee, where someone places their coffee cup immediately after taking a drink will tell you a lot about what they’re thinking. If they reach across their bodies to set the cup down (bringing their cup-holding arm in front of and across their bodies, creating a "single arm barrier"), they’re likely hesitant or unsure about what they’re hearing. When they place the cup straight down in front or to the side and away their body, they’re more open to what’s being said. (Cautionary note: always consider context when hunting for body language clues. Fort example, a person might be very accepting of what’s being said but their coaster is opposite their cup-holding hand. So when they put down their cup they won’t be saying “no way” so much as trying to avoid a water ring on their desk! Likewise, if it’s below freezing outside and someone is crossing their arms while you talk with them, they’re probably just cold.) 3. The Nose Touch — We touch our noses when we lie. Studies show the reason is physiological. The Peases refer a study by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago that found when we lie, our blood pressure increases. “Increased blood pressure inflates the nose and causes the nerve endings in the nose to tingle” resulting in an itchy feeling. So, naturally, we scratch it. And while some people will briskly scratch their noses back and forth several times, others, note the Peases, will make one “almost imperceptible” touch/scratch. So the move can be subtle, but it’s almost always there when we fib. A good high-profile example: Bill Clinton’s testimony during the Monica Lewinsky affair. Neurologist Alan Hirsch and psychiatrist Charles Wolf analyzed tapes of his testimony and found when he told the truth, he rarely touched his nose. When he lied, “he gave a split second frown before he answered and touched his nose once every four minutes for a grand total of twenty six nose touches.” (Note: Sometimes a nose itch is just a nose itch. If this is the case, scratches tend to be more deliberate, repetitive and out of context with the conversation, note the Peases. So, again, its all about context.) 4. Picking Imaginary Lint — “When a person disapproves of the opinions or attitudes of others but doesn’t want to say anything, displacement gestures are likely to occur, that is, primarily innocent body-language gestures that reveal a withheld opinion,” write the Peases. “Picking imaginary lint from one’s own clothing is one such gesture. The lint-picker usually looks down and away from others while performing this seemingly minor, irrelevant action. This is a common signal of disapproval and is a good sign that he doesn’t like what’s being said, even when he sounds as if he’s agreeing with everything.”

Experience Life cover subject Van Jones (December 2007) was a guest on The Colbert Show (watch the interview here) last night (April 1, 2008) talking about his mission to bring green-collar jobs to America. I don't like to brag (okay, I do) but Stephen Colbert has a pulse on the zeitgeist, not to mention he just won a Peabody for "services rendered to the art of satire," and yet we beat him to the Van Jones punch! Gloating aside, Van Jones is the one I want to (re)herald in this post. His commitment to social justice and bringing green-collar jobs to America is so ridiculously worthy and amazing. Learn more about him and all his projects here.