Recently in perspective Category

The Experience Life staff spent yesterday at an all-day planning meeting in Wisconsin. I always look forward to these days because they inevitably mean amazing food, great ideas, inspiration and collaboration.

During the meeting, Pilar asked us to think about what energizes us most in our lives and at work -- and what depletes us. I've been turning over this idea in my head a lot lately, and it's definitely something I'll be thinking about this weekend.

I know there are quite a few areas in my life that are costing me (screen time, toxic people, bad habits) -- and places that I want to nourish more (especially in the realm of creativity and fun).

Just thinking about what the elements in my life are actually accomplishing -- i.e., nurturing my authentic self or sucking me dry -- feels like a big step in the right direction. I suppose the next big challenge will be learning how to accomplish the necessary changes with integrity. 

What about you: When you picture your happiest and most balanced self, what is it that adds to that energy and spark? And what in your life is diminishing or distracting you from that core?

(Photo by raceytay)

I run my first marathon in less than three days (Sunday, May 31, 7 a.m.).

Two years ago today, I had never run more than a mile. And the mile that I did run (as part of a P.E. class my senior year of college) took me about 14 minutes to finish, and left me wheezing and near tears.

I also started at Experience Life two years ago, a day after I graduated, and if you had asked me then if I would ever run a 5K (let alone a marathon), I would have thought you were crazy and laughed right at your crazy face.

A combination of self-loathing (or at least self-estrangement), positive peer pressure and slow-building momentum eventually changed that. The first time I ran a mile without stopping, I felt like I had conquered the world. My next goal was to run all the way around Lake of the Isles (about 2.8 miles on the bike path). When I made it around for the first time, in September 2007, I was smiling for the rest of the day.

It felt great to accomplish something and to see my body change and get stronger, so I kept setting goals for myself. I ran my first 5K in February 2008, my first 10K in July of the same year, then the TC 10 Mile and Monster Dash half marathon in October. Members of my running group then pointed out that a marathon training clinic was starting up, and hey, wouldn't that be fun?

I must've been drinking some strong Kool-Aid because I decided to sign up for the Minneapolis Marathon and a triathlon this summer. And while marathon training hasn't always been fun (exhaustion, weight gain, injury), I've learned just how far my body is capable of taking me -- and when I need to ease off and give myself a break.

Two years ago I was overweight, under-exercised and very unhappy. Today I'm healthier and happier than I've ever been, and I can run at least 20 miles. Consecutively. After Sunday I hope to say that I can run 26.2.

I've had lots of thoughts churning in the ol' brain box as marathon day approaches. In some ways, it's only a day, and only a race. It's a milestone, yes, but this is only the beginning of the healthy life I'm building. But, on the other hand, it represents a lot to me: the transformation that has occurred in the past two years, my ability to make lasting change in my life, and some things that I haven't even fully grasped yet. One of these things being that I must be crazy, because really. Who pays to run 26 miles?

More than anything, I find myself monumentally grateful for the support and encouragement you all have provided as I stumbled my way through training. Without my friends, family, virtual and real-life running partners, and coworkers I would never have made it this far. So a big Internet high five and sincere thank you to all of you.

(Photo by opacity)

OK, my marathon training technically started yesterday.* So I only have a day's worth of perspective to offer. BUT, I have much to share after only one day!

It's hard.

No really, the phrase "run a marathon" may feel breezy and fun to say, but the actual practice of marathon running is rather unpleasant. And I've only done 15 percent of the distance at a time this week.

It's a strange phenomena to run for 30 minutes and then realize, when I'm running a marathon I will still have four. more. hours. (Insert involuntary whimper here.)

Despite the crippling fear that this inspires, I'm excited about this challenge. I'm cross-training, stretching, eating food that's actually made out of food and sleeping a decent amount. I thought I should record this particular moment in time for posterity's sake. In two months (or, heck, two days), I might be singing a very different tune.

*Stay tuned for my clip-art enhanced training program, which I will be posting in the next few days. I'm confident it will be as effective as these were.

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In the vein of goal setting and getting things done, I've decided to start my own 101 in 1001 project. You can read more about it here, but it is basically a list of concrete tasks that you want to accomplish in 1001 days (about 2.75 years).  I don't expect to finish all or even most of these, but just writing this list gives me a good idea of my vision and goals for the coming years.

Here are a few other great resources for setting attainable, realistic goals (and actually following through):

All Over It: How To Eliminate Goal-Blocking Obstacles for Good 

Envision This

Live Dynamite
"Personal-development program designed to help people discover what inspires them and to set goals and get good at living."

The Skillful Life
An action plan for assessing and building the skill sets that matter most to you right now.

(Photo by wallyg)

In hibernation.

I got these amazing running tights recently. They're cozy, warm and they're actually long enough. I'm a tall girl, and the world has been subjected to my ankle-length running pants for too long.

So how do the tights perform in action? I wouldn't know. So far, I've only used them as pajamas. For what it's worth, they are really comfortable PJs.

What is with me? Maybe it's the shorter and colder days, or that mystery sickness that knocked me on my butt the other week -- all I know is that I have been l-a-z-y.

I'm not stressed about this fitness drought, though. I consider the last couple of weeks my body's natural response to the intense training regimen of the past six months. I needed a break, and winter is a natural time for our bodies to slow down a bit.

Another bonus is that with all this down time, I'm actually excited to get back into running. I love winter running -- armed with the right gear, of course. And without the intense training schedule, I've had time for morning yoga, long walks and even some strength training (I'm restarting that hundred pushup challenge -- second time's a charm).

Our December fitness feature ("The Fitness Almanac") sheds some light my seasonal shifts:

Come fall, animals and plants carefully allocate their resources so they will survive the winter. Take some time to consider how you can sustain yourself through the coming season, as well. You should be seeing and feeling the fruits of your labors, having followed your fitness and nutrition goals for much of the year. As the weather cools, the days shorten and the leaves change colors. This can be an invigorating relief from the sweltering heat of the summer, and you may feel your energy pick up in October.

As the months progress, however, it's natural to grow more quiet and introspective again. What's your vision for the holiday season and the upcoming new year? What accomplishments are you proud of this year? What dreams and goals will you explore next? 

My vision for the upcoming year is all about balance: mind-body balance, work-life balance, balanced nutrition and so on. The answers to the other questions are things I'm mulling over, and will need to reflect on in another post.

Have you started thinking about your goals for the coming year?

(Photo by rachaelwrites.)

Race day looms. As many of you know, I've been training for the Twin Cities 10 Mile race.  And now, the day of reckoning is upon us. The TC10 is this Sunday, one part of a weekend full of running events culminating in the Twin Cities Marathon (also on Sunday, they start about an hour after the 10-milers). This Sunday. Four days from now. Holy -- when did that happen?

In many ways, I feel prepared and confident about the race. I've run the distance more than once, and I even ran the course last weekend (you go uphill and then uphill some more). I'm contentedly tapering right now, giving my body some much needed rest. I have my hydration and fueling strategy worked out. On the other hand, I'm feeling a bit scattered and unfocused. I'm in the middle of moving from Minneapolis to St. Paul, so needless to say I'm stretched a bit thin. 

I haven't slept much the past few nights. I felt great during our training runs, but that's no guarantee for how I'm going to be feeling on race day. Also, I'm not sure where any of my running gear is. I marked the box "priority," but then I lost the box. In the absolute best case scenario, the week before a race involves lots of sleep, relaxation, low stress, nutritious meals, easy runs and maybe a dash of cross-training. In the real life scenario, you have a crazy work week, there's a debate watch party that will keep you up late, your life is split into two trailers parked in garages around the city, lunches and dinners are a hurried afterthought, and "tapering" turns into a complete halt.

We'd all love the ideal scenario, but life intervenes and you have to adapt. For my part, I'm going to count moving into an apartment on the third floor (no elevator) as cross-training.  I'm also going to limit my Friday night activities to unpacking a couple of boxes and going to bed at 9:30. Oh, and carbo-loading!

What about you? How do you deal with day-to-day obstacles -- whether you're preparing for a race, or just trying to fit in your weekly workouts?  

[Photo courtesy of emma.c.]

Tomorrow I'm running a local 5K as a birthday present to myself. Why would I want to wake up at 5:30 in the #!@$& morning and subject my body to a rigorous pounding on my birthday of all days? Good question. I have no idea why.

OK, that's not entirely true.  While I may not have thought this through before I registered, in retrospect I'm glad that I'm marking the start of my 23rd year with a race. A lot has changed in one year. Last year at this time:

• I had never run more than a mile, and the mile I ran/walk for a fitness class my senior of college took me close to 14 minutes. I was the last one off the track; the entire class sat and waited for me to finish. (Oh, how I wish I could go back to that day and run the seven-minute mile I know I'm capable of now!)
• I was more than 50 pounds heavier.  But it wasn't the weight itself that really bothered me -- it was that I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I didn't feel at home in my body.
• I had a fair share of the crippling anxiety that goes along with feeling ashamed of your body, your lifestyle and your choices. I was convinced that my friends and family were constantly judging me or disappointed in me. Whether they actually were doesn't even matter -- my perception of judgment was the projection of my beliefs about myself.
• I was just beginning to make small changes in my life: eating whole foods, walking every day, reading everything I could get my hands on about healthy weight loss.

I made a goal for myself last year that I wouldn't go another year stuck in that miserable and exhausting mire. And I didn't.

With the help and support of friends (my roomie/BFF is a constant inspiration, and her fitness commitment blows mine out of the water), family (my parents continue to make small changes every day that lead them in a healthier direction), readers and bloggers (your stories have kept me going on more than one occasion), and perhaps most importantly my coworkers (I drank the Kool-Aid, and it was good), I made the necessary changes and they kept snowballing. Here are some of the things that happened this year:

• I became a runner (how did that happen??).
• I rebalanced my body weight, and once again feel present and accounted for in my skin.
• I cut out soda, high-fructose corn syrup and other processed junk, and am eating a diet based around organic, whole foods.
• I joined a yoga studio for the first time, tried out hip-hop dancing (I am so not coordinated) and all sorts of other fitness experiments.
• Every day I'm learning how to accept where I am right now, and to make choices that support who I want to be in the future.

The most terrifying exciting part about this all is that it is only the beginning. This was only one year. There is so much more to learn, and so many ways that I will continue to grow and change.

And what better way to renew and reaffirm my commitment to making my life as healthy and happy as possible than running as hard as I can, sweating like a pig and tossing my cookies at the finish line?  None that I can think of! (And I mean that. Which probably just confirms people's suspicions that I am, indeed, loopy pickins.) Have a great weekend everyone!

Please excuse the mess. Experience Life blogs are also being renovated.

(Photo by Yannig Van de Wouwer)

I've realized over the past few months that I spend a lot of time "zoned out." Instead of taking lunch to emerge from my cave for a few minutes of sun or human interaction, I scarf down something that only vaguely resembles food and mindlessly scroll through my bloated feed reader. After making dinner at night, I'll plop down in front of the TV for the soul-numbing screeching of that harpy on So You Think You Can Dance (turns out most contestants do think that. Go figure).

Even my workouts have taken on an unconscious sort of drudgery. I run because that's what my rut-of-a-schedule dictates. And I've been meaning to reestablish my yoga practice, but I've just been so busy (see: reality TV). It's scary to think of how much time I waste by being disengaged from my behaviors and habits -- from life.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, a very special lady reminded me of a little piece of advice that I'd like to share with you. Her name is Whoopi Goldberg, and this is what she had to say:

If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.

Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, anyone? Well, whether or not you agree with my obviously suspect amazing taste in cinema, Sister Mary Clarence can teach a valuable lesson here.

Simply put: Pay attention. How much time during each day do we spend completely checked out? With the growing amount of alluring distractions that modern technology offers, it's amazing that we're able to be conscious at all. It takes concentration and commitment -- and recommitment and recommitment and recommitment -- to be fully present and engaged in your day-to-day tasks. And that's no easy feat.

Places to Start

Be aware. Hold yourself accountable to your choices throughout the day by keeping a written log of everything you do (try to be as specific as possible).
 
Review how much time you spent on purposeless activities (Web or channel surfing, mindless eating, jumping on the elliptical and zoning out, etc.).
 
Ask yourself why you are choosing to spend your time in that way. Confronting the unconscious decisions we make is a great way to start reclaiming our time.
 
Consider what fulfilling and enriching pursuits could replace the time currently spent as a zombie, or how much you could accomplish -- and how much richer the experience would be -- if you were engaged in your work rather than just going through the motions.
 
Try something new. It's harder to zone out while you're doing something that you've never done before -- and possibly deadly if that something is, say, swimming with sharks. Challenge yourself, fully commit to the task at hand and experience the joy of being present and accounted for in your own life.
 
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My goal, or rather, my intent, in the coming weeks is to live consciously and with purpose. No more aimless exercise -- I will be picking a summer event to train for in the coming days (ooh, suspense! Stay tuned!), and reevaluating my fitness goals. I also will be searching for ways to replace my zone-out time with creative and compelling activities.

Maybe I could try some sort of blacksmithing class like Laine did. I've always wanted to weld things...
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For more tips on how to act with intention, check out David Bohl's tips at Slow Down Fast.

I haven't done much running since that 10K on the 10th. In fact, I haven't done much of anything. A few runs here and there, but the dramatic drop in mileage lately has me feeling like a spectacular failure. And running isn't the only thing that's felt wobbly these past few weeks.

Every nutritional faux pas has left me with an unhealthy dose of self-loathing. When relationships faltered, I fell into the seductive trap of self-doubt. "What's wrong with me? I never get it right." The DVD of Elizabeth: The Golden Age that has been sitting on my TV for almost two months is all the proof I need that I even fail at NetFlix. (Seriously, it's been sitting, untouched, for seven weeks. It's practically mocking me.)

I just can't seem to drag myself out of this slump no matter how hard I struggle. But therein lies the catch of all this negative thinking and self-judging: The more energy I spend telling myself that I'm no good at running or life or remembering to tape the latest episode of [embarrassing guilty-pleasure TV show omitted], the less energy I have to nurture and care for myself. And isn't that the goal in the first place?

Don't Beat Yourself Up

Zen teacher Cheri Huber has written and talked a lot about acceptance over the years. Turns out all that vicious condemnation that we dole out on ourselves doesn't accomplish a hill of beans when it comes to making lasting change and progress.

And this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who's dealt with the cruel internal taskmaster: "Why can't you do anything right?" "You failed again. Why do you even bother?" "It's pointless. You can't do anything right." And yet, as exhausting and defeating as it is to wrestle with these thought patterns, we often let these ideas rot in our minds -- rather than, say, accepting and embracing ourselves as we are right now. Perhaps we're afraid that acceptance will equal complacence. As Huber said in a 2003 article:

"They'll be frustrated and exhausted from the effort of beating themselves up. They'll openly acknowledge that whatever they've been doing isn't working, but still they'll insist that the whole idea of acceptance is inherently dangerous to their progress."

So how do we stop the self-flagellation and get to a place where we feel whole, centered, energized and at peace?

"Acceptance," Huber explains, "is not saying, 'Hey, this is the way it is, and the way it will be forever, period.' It's more like saying, 'I love you just the way you are, and I'll help you be any way you want to be.' "Once we get to a quiet and more compassionate place with ourselves, it's amazing what we can discover," says Huber. Best of all, once you develop habits of nonjudging observation, you can put them to work proactively. "Rather than madly processing and reacting, we can use acceptance to stop all the noise and self-loathing midstream."

You can read more about the process in the article quoted above, but what it boils down to is challenging ourselves not to accept the lies and self-doubt that can so easily become a formative part of our lexicon.

I'm truly amazed at the sheer volume of negative thoughts that can crop up in my mind throughout the day. If you don't believe me, try being conscious of how you communicate with yourself for just 10 minutes. If you're anything like me, you'll forget to be conscious after a couple of minutes, then -- upon remembering that you forgot -- proceed to tell yourself that you are "really bad at being conscious." Good thing the goal here is not to be perfect. It's simply, as Huber says, "nonjudging observation."

Learning to Accept

Fortunately, there are some relatively simple and effective ways to cultivate a gentler and more gracious mindset toward ourselves:

1. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Actively work to think about what you are grateful for, and spend time vocalizing those feelings. You can start small by making a list every evening of five things that blessed you that day. Learn more in "Get Grateful."

2. Get outside of yourself. While periods of disappointment and failure may make us want to isolate or mope, one of the best ways to break away from nagging self-scorn is by doing something that gets you away from your self for a while -- and puts you inescapably in the present. Exercise to be totally present in your body. Volunteer or listen to a friend to help you feel connected. Lose yourself in a creative task (sock puppets anyone?). Try these tips for doing acts of kindness.

3. Ask yourself, "Is that really true." When you've missed a goal and find your mind veering toward "You never do anything right" territory, it can help to write down any negative thoughts you have and challenge them. Find concrete examples to prove yourself wrong. Byron Katie's The Work method is a great place to start.

4. Spend time in nature. A good, long walk works wonders.

5. Don't go it alone. Again, while it's tempting to isolate, reaching out to a friend can help distill misguided feelings of failure and provides a support network.

6. Give yourself a break. Sometimes the best way to move forward is to give up and stop fighting. This doesn't mean you'll never change or progress. Rather, it's you giving yourself grace just to be who you are -- setbacks, struggles, contradictions and all. You know, human.

I'm feeling particularly human these days, and you know what? That's OK. It's fantastic, even, because without the hairpin turns and ambiguity and adventures life wouldn't be nearly as interesting. Just writing that boosts my spirits. So much so, in fact, that I think I might actually watch that dusty movie tonight. Or maybe not... (and that's OK, too).

Welcome to my UltraBlog. Are you having an UltraDay? I know I am. This UltraMorning, I got up to take a shot of extra-virgin olive oil and lemon juice, followed by an UltraShake -- all the while smelling vaguely of baking soda and Epsom salts from my UltraBath last night.

We're two days into UltraDetox (if you don't know why I'm using "Ultra" incessantly, check out the previous post), and I'm feeling great alive.

Further bulletins as events warrant. In the meantime, check out the guest post over on Cranky Fitness today. It reminded me that I really need to get back into yoga. Without it, my body falls apart. Or, more accurately, constricts into impenetrable knots.

It's always good to hear that you don't have to be a Certain Way to be an athlete. And while accepting yourself as you are right now is often one of the most difficult challenges we face, once that hurdle is conquered there's nothing to hold you back. Now I'm off to drink some UltraBroth.

Over the past few months, I've learned a lot -- about myself, about fitness, and about the idiosyncrasies of putting those two together.

So in honor of Runner's Lounge "If I Knew Then What I Know Now" Take It and Run Thursday (a day late), here are some of the lessons I've learned:

1. Dark running tights are my friend. Aforementioned Mizuno running capris? They're comfortable, don't ride up anywhere they shouldn't, keep me cool. Unfortunately, the light-gray color shows off just how much I'm sweating. Needless to say, when I finished my miles last night it might have looked like I'd peed in my pants.

2. The first mile is always hard. I read this "Natural Law of Running" at Runner's Lounge and wholeheartedly agree. I might modify it a bit, though, to say, "Beginning is always hard." Eating healthy? It's tricky when you're first starting out, but it gets easier and eventually it becomes downright fun. Just starting to exercise? Those first few weeks (and months) are tough. I think everybody can attest to this, whether you're just starting out or getting back into peak shape after a long hiatus. But after getting past that initial hump, you start to feel the positive changes, momentum builds and it gets easier.

3. Make sure your workout clothes fit before you take them for a run/workout. I had this one pair of pants, and they fit just fine when I was walking around the house. When I ran in them, however, I was pulling them up from my ankles every five seconds (OK, I may be exaggerating a bit, but it was pretty bad). Now I test run all my clothes inside and carry a safety pin with me just in case.

4. Change your workout music/route/routine regularly. If I run the same loop over and over again, my body will start to automatically get tired at the same place I've gotten tired during previous runs. The same goes for music -- hearing certain songs will trigger physical responses. To get around these mental blocks I need variety to keep my mind and body guessing.
5. Don't go it alone. During the first months of my life overhaul, I felt pretty isolated. Honestly, it seemed like I was sooo far behind everyone else that I would just embarrass myself it I reached out for support or advice. I didn't want to join a running club because I was convinced that I would be too slow/fat/inexperienced. I didn't want to talk about the changes I was making because that would mean owning up to the, in my mind shameful, fact that I was incredibly unhealthy. Thank God I've gotten over that. Now, I love having the support of my running club (and friends and family and coworkers), and I talk about my successes, challenges and setbacks a lot. Incessantly, even.

6. Shin splints aren't inevitable. Neither is pain. For a long time I thought that pain is just part of running. Turns out that the right shoes make a huge difference. So does building up your mileage and speed slowly. Now when I feel pain, I pay attention, make the necessary adjustments and take time off if I need too. I've also started to recognize the difference between the DOMS (delayed-onset muscle soreness) and pain related to my running biomechanics.

7. Dieting is for chumps. Maybe it works for some people, but I definitely couldn't maintain a restricted eating regimen for the long haul. Why diet when, instead, you can eat an abundant amount of delicious, satisfying food? When my focus was on eliminating foods from my diet, I was miserable.

These days, I focus on how much I've added to my cooking repertoire and don't waste time counting calories. Like I said here, your body does a perfectly good job of adjusting to your caloric intake if you're fueling it with fresh, whole foods. These are just a few of the things I can think of off the top of my head, and I'm sure there are many more lessons to be learned down the road.

When you look back at where you've been, what have you learned? What would you do differently?