A Birthday 5K

[Photo courtesy of emma.c.]

Tomorrow I'm running a local 5K as a birthday present to myself. Why would I want to wake up at 5:30 in the #!@$& morning and subject my body to a rigorous pounding on my birthday of all days? Good question. I have no idea why.

OK, that's not entirely true.  While I may not have thought this through before I registered, in retrospect I'm glad that I'm marking the start of my 23rd year with a race. A lot has changed in one year. Last year at this time:

• I had never run more than a mile, and the mile I ran/walk for a fitness class my senior of college took me close to 14 minutes. I was the last one off the track; the entire class sat and waited for me to finish. (Oh, how I wish I could go back to that day and run the seven-minute mile I know I'm capable of now!)
• I was more than 50 pounds heavier.  But it wasn't the weight itself that really bothered me -- it was that I didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I didn't feel at home in my body.
• I had a fair share of the crippling anxiety that goes along with feeling ashamed of your body, your lifestyle and your choices. I was convinced that my friends and family were constantly judging me or disappointed in me. Whether they actually were doesn't even matter -- my perception of judgment was the projection of my beliefs about myself.
• I was just beginning to make small changes in my life: eating whole foods, walking every day, reading everything I could get my hands on about healthy weight loss.

I made a goal for myself last year that I wouldn't go another year stuck in that miserable and exhausting mire. And I didn't.

With the help and support of friends (my roomie/BFF is a constant inspiration, and her fitness commitment blows mine out of the water), family (my parents continue to make small changes every day that lead them in a healthier direction), readers and bloggers (your stories have kept me going on more than one occasion), and perhaps most importantly my coworkers (I drank the Kool-Aid, and it was good), I made the necessary changes and they kept snowballing. Here are some of the things that happened this year:

• I became a runner (how did that happen??).
• I rebalanced my body weight, and once again feel present and accounted for in my skin.
• I cut out soda, high-fructose corn syrup and other processed junk, and am eating a diet based around organic, whole foods.
• I joined a yoga studio for the first time, tried out hip-hop dancing (I am so not coordinated) and all sorts of other fitness experiments.
• Every day I'm learning how to accept where I am right now, and to make choices that support who I want to be in the future.

The most terrifying exciting part about this all is that it is only the beginning. This was only one year. There is so much more to learn, and so many ways that I will continue to grow and change.

And what better way to renew and reaffirm my commitment to making my life as healthy and happy as possible than running as hard as I can, sweating like a pig and tossing my cookies at the finish line?  None that I can think of! (And I mean that. Which probably just confirms people's suspicions that I am, indeed, loopy pickins.) Have a great weekend everyone!